“On the Horns Of a Dilemma”
9th – 11th November, in Sussex UK, with Nina Davies
You are invited to join us for an engaging and enjoyable weekend in the beautiful Sussex Countryside. Cannon Barn (see this link ) was converted within the past decade to provide spacious and comfortable accommodation for up to ten people. It has large panoramic windows which enhance the enjoyment of the green and peaceful location. The kitchen is very well equipped which allows us to prepare very high quality vegan food which adds to the congeniality of the weekend.
Although the atmosphere for the retreat will be relaxed and friendly, the theme for the weekend will offer us all an opportunity to challenge our biases and assumptions. “On the horns of a dilemma” is a descriptive metaphor which clearly invokes the discomfort of being presented with the choice of two imperfect options. To give a few examples:
- Brexiteers are often reminded that we ‘can’t have our cake and eat it’ however determined they are to get the best deal for Britain in leaving the EU.
- Although finding yourself in a stressful job you that no longer enjoy, it seems extremely difficult to make the decision to take a more interesting, lower paid job with less security.
- Do you spend the money you inherited on a good holiday now or do you save it for unforeseen future emergencies?
- You may find yourself ‘caught between a rock and a hard place’ when you are asked to cover up the unethical behaviour of a friend.
In the examples above, we may just feel uncertainty when presented with the options. Sometimes making a decision between two imperfect options will lead us to face conflicting beliefs about ourselves and our values (cognitive dissonance).
This retreat is not about making decisions, but about the experience of uncertainty and the exploring the discomfort of cognitive dissonance. Using mindful techniques, we will explore the value of simply experiencing uncertainty and of holding two apparently contradictory beliefs. What are the advantages of accepting that our beliefs, and the decisions we make, may be inconsistent with who we think we are? This weekend will be both experiential and experimental! Please be prepared to explore your biases and challenge your own beliefs and the beliefs of others.
Dates: Fri 9th November (6pm) to Sunday 11th Nov 2018 (after lunch).
Venue: Cannon Barn, Boring House Farm, Vines Cross, Heathfield, East Sussex, TN21 9AS. For more details about the venue please see this link. The nearest railway station is at Uckfield, 5 miles away. We can arrange lifts from the station if you are arriving by train.
Cost: £120 for the weekend. This includes all food and accommodation. If the cost prevents you from participating for financial reasons, please contact us to discuss concessions, giving brief details of your financial position.
Who is the retreat for? Anyone aged 18 or over who is interested in learning more about the Middle Way and practising it. We welcome people from any background or tradition, as the Middle Way begins wherever you are now and leads on from there. You will need to be fluent in English. You do not necessarily have to be a member of the society, though we hope you will consider joining. If you have a physical or learning disability, or other health issues, please contact us before booking to discuss whether or not the retreat can meet your needs.
Retreat Leader: Nina Davies, who has been practising meditation for 25 years and a member of the Middle Way Society for 4 years. After leaving a long career in social care, she is now a CBT Hypnotherapist. She has academic interests in Social Anthropology and Gender Studies, both of which have given has plenty of opportunity to examine the cultural bias of our ‘common sense’ assumptions and the resulting cognitive dissonance of ‘culture shock’.
Nina did a podcast interview with Barry in 2014 which you can listen to here.
Retreat Programme: Friday evening will include a short introductory talk and experiential exercise. Saturday will start with a meditation based on mindfulness, with a specific emphasis on looking at thought and its apparent impact on sensation and emotion. The rest of the morning will be taken up with reflection and discussion in small groups. The afternoon will be for relaxation (e.g. for walks, socialising, sleeping, or whatever else you wish), and there will be a relaxation meditation in the late afternoon. During the evening we will work creatively with the theme “On the horns of a dilemma”, using stories to imaginatively work with the ‘middle way’ and possibly unhook ourselves from the horns. Sunday will start with meditation and will be followed by a review of the weekend. Meals are taken communally, and everyone on the retreat is asked to contribute to cooking and washing up (unless they have physical difficulties with this).
Accommodation: There are 3 twin rooms, which will be allocated on a single-sex basis. There are also two double rooms which can either be used by individuals or couples. There is a further room that could be used as accommodation if required. Bathrooms are shared. We are using a relatively small venue for this retreat, to make sure it is used effectively, but this means it may fill up. Book early to avoid the possibility of disappointment!
Retreat conditions: To help maintain a retreat atmosphere without distractions, participants are asked not to use mobile phones or other electronic devices on the retreat, except for urgent personal reasons in private or for the purposes of the retreat programme. To make sure that everyone remains comfortable in what may be quite personal discussions, you are also asked not to initiate new sexual relationships with other people on the retreat.
To book: Please fill in the online form below, then pay a non-returnable deposit of £40 to secure your place. You can pay this either online, by bank transfer or by cheque. The balance of your payment is due before the retreat begins.
To pay online, please use the Paypal facility that should load automatically after you have submitted the form. This Paypal facility also allows you to pay by credit or debit card.
To pay by bank transfer, close the Paypal facility page and pay through your bank to Account: Middle Way Society, Co-operative Bank, Sort Code 089299, account number 65711376. Please use your name as a reference. For international transfers, use IBAN GB50 CPBK 0892 9965 7113 76, BIC CPBK GB22.
If you need to pay by cheque, please contact barry (at) middlewaysociety.org
To pay your balance online please go straight to the retreat booking deposit page and select the appropriate option from the dropdown menu. If paying by bank transfer, please see the details above.
All data entered into online forms on this website is subject to our Privacy Policy, and accords with UK data protection law.
Contact: For all questions about the retreat please email Nina at ninalaradavies (at) hotmail.com . For any questions about payment please email barry (at) middlewaysociety.org. Substitute @ for (at).
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